Sometimes the best thing for a healthy relationship is to live apart.
When you get married, you don’t really think about the possibility of a divorce. We were raised with fairy tales that all end with, "...and they all lived happily ever after”. But no one prepared us for, “…and they slowly grew apart until their love was no longer”.
I guess “until death do us part” was easier to live by centuries ago, when life expectancy was much shorter, and people sometimes died of scurvy at 25. But now, we have to look at the big picture. People go through experiences over the course of their lives that make them change. What you wanted at 20 years old might not be what you want at 40.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. In this new era of “conscious uncoupling” (thanks a lot, Gwyneth Paltrow), a family doesn’t need to crumble just because a marriage does. Divorce can and should be a collaborative and respectful process. Here is are some tips to keep your split as smooth as possible:
The end of a marriage typically unleashes a flood of emotions including anger, grief, anxiety and fear. Sometimes these feelings can rise up when you least expect them, catching you off guard. Such a response is normal, and over time the intensity of these feelings will subside.
Try not to think of the breakup as a battle. Sitting down and speaking with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse may be the last thing you want to do, but cooperation and communication make divorce healthier for everyone involved. Talking things through with a divorce mediator helps you to reach coordinated decisions with a minimum of conflict.
When Children are Involved
During a divorce, parents can do a lot to ease the child's transition. Do your best to keep any conflict away from the kids. A mediator can help divorcing parents to come up with a plan to present to their children together. And, keep the lines of communication open. Kids benefit from having honest conversations about the changes their family is experiencing.
Taking Care of Yourself
The changes brought on by separation and divorce can be overwhelming. But now more than ever, it's important to take care of yourself. Tap into your support network, turning to family and friends for assistance and comfort. Formal support groups can also help you cope with the many emotions of a marriage ending.
For information on divorce mediation, visit kpdivorceservices.com, email Katie Pace here or call 847.727.5775.
コメント