Marriage Story is a drama that could be considered a "divorce procedural". It specifically explores how the legal system distorts the good intentions of a couple trying to end their marriage amicably.
Director Noah Baumbach hunkers down on what he has described in interviews as the “divorce-industrial complex”—a dehumanizing, bureaucratic process which reduces something as intimate as a separation into a series of arbitrary rules and exorbitant courtroom battles.
The couple, Nicole and Charlie, start out in mediation, agreeing to handle their divorce without lawyers. Mediation is a private, flexible, and much less costly process to resolve divorce issues. It allows couples to craft their divorce agreements themselves.
Then a friend urges Nicole to get a lawyer and they are off to the races. She gets a tough lawyer, which leads to conflict spiraling out of control.
Late to the game, Charlie is forced to confront the confounding nitty-gritty of divorce law. Since Nicole files for divorce while in Los Angeles, Charlie can only contest her in the same city. If Charlie doesn’t visit Los Angeles often, he looks like a neglectful parent, and if he does visit, he weakens the case to move his son back to New York. If he doesn’t respond in 30 days, he concedes by default; he also has to pay 30% of Nicole’s lawyer fees. Most insidiously, he can’t use any lawyer Nicole has already consulted — and on Nora’s orders, she meets with eleven of the best to ensure that she has the upper-hand.
If there’s anything worse than divorce, this movie suggests, it’s divorce lawyers. “The system rewards bad behavior,” Nicole's lawyer tells her: The stronger the accusations, the wilder the demands, the more likely you are to actually get what you want. And this turns divorces that could be settled amicably without lawyers into bitter, vitriolic feuds.
What is happening is catastrophic, ridiculous and also — as the lawyers know — perfectly ordinary.
The very touching Netflix movie, Marriage Story, provides an unusually realistic depiction of divorce dynamics. Mediation, a constructive, non-confrontational approach is often times the best way forward.
For more information on divorce mediation, call me for a free consultation at 847.727.5775.
Comments