Divorce can be a grueling process for couples, but the days of standing in front of a judge are becoming less common. Instead mediation has become one of the most frequently used methods of negotiating a divorce settlement.
I became part of this movement quite by accident. After decades in the commercial finance field, I went through a contested divorce that lasted years and was financially devastating. I realized that there had to be a better way. My personal experience gave me great empathy for families trying to reorganize. So I started my own mediation practice, focused exclusively on peaceful divorces.
How does contested divorce litigation impact the marital estate? My common tagline is “marriage is grand, divorce is a hundred grand.” The judge will rely on expert opinions on assets and custody if your divorced is litigated. If you have a divorce which involves substantial assets, you will most likely need a business valuation. If you are self employed, there can be forensic accounting involved. If you can’t agree on a parenting plan, the court can order a Guardian Ad Litem (attorney to represent the child/children) and a custody evaluator on the case. Right off the bat you’re looking at six figures, because you have to pay attorneys fees, expert fees, forensics fees, sometimes you have to get a vocational.
So everybody gets paid out of your limited assets. If you run out of cash, you end up drowning in credit card debt or start liquidating retirement accounts. It is an emotionally and financially destructive way to reorganize your family.
Everything can be handled and should be handled in mediation. Although divorce can bring extremely high emotions, a neutral mediator will not allow the emotions to override common sense. The goal is trying to get through it with as little damage to the children, to your emotions and to your well-being as possible.
I think mediating and giving up certain rights that you may or may not have in court, is an indicator that you’re choosing a fair and equitable process as opposed to starting a war. It is not a retreat, it’s not a surrender, it’s being smart.
For more information on divorce mediation or to have a free consultation, contact Katie Pace Divorce Services at 847.727.5775 or katie@kpdivorcemediation.com. Your life, reimagined.
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